Reflections on Motherhood
Motherhood is a precious gift I have been given three times. When they hand you that bundle of joy, there are no instructions. I read all of the “how-to” books the first time. Some helped. Most didn’t. First time parenting is overwhelming. I remember second guessing my every move. Breast or bottle feed? Rock my baby to sleep or let them soothe themself? Mother’s intuition took over quickly. I learned to trust my instincts and listen carefully. Even before they can speak, they communicate with you. The mother child bond is beautiful, like a love language all its own. Fluency doesn’t come easy, or without challenges. Eventually, the right words flow off of your tongue and lullabies are second nature.
All three of our children are unique and I wouldn't have it any other way. We were blessed with two boys and a little girl. Only they are not so little anymore. I love them deeply with all my heart. They each bring their own spark to my world and I can't imagine life without them.
Today, I'm reflecting on what being a mom means to me and sharing memories from my journals. If they are reading this, they are probably cringing right now, wondering which silly stories I might spill. Don’t worry, I won’t quote you, and there won’t be a Tik Tok, so your friends probably won’t see this.
As I look back on past entries, I’m reminded how little time I had to chronicle my children’s milestones, but they are there. In bits and pieces. Funny stories, first words, the little things that really mattered. I’ll share some parenting tips I learned along the way. But first, some humorous quotes from our three charming children.
Out of the mouths of babes…..
1st Ice Skating Lesson, age 4
“Mommy, why am I here? I can’t skate!”
Smarty Pants, age 4
“Can you show your grandparents how well you are learning French by saying hello in French?
“Hello in French.”
Rainy Day Fun, age 4
“I’m going to run outside, catch raindrops on my tongue and welcome spring!”
Overheard on Father’s Day, 2001
“We’re not going to tell you your present is a croquet set.”
House Rules, According to the Kids
“You aren’t supposed to say bad words. Unless, you’re fixing things. That’s what Daddy says.”
Shear Advice, age 4
“Instead of getting your hair cut, you could just grow out your bangs real long and that will keep you warm all winter!”
Alarming Art Museums, age 4
“What fun is this place if I can’t touch anything? I’m outta here!”
Christmas Memories, age 4
“Are you on Santa’s naughty or nice list?”
“I’m on the perfect list.”
“Nice try, but remember, he sees everything.”
SILENCE.
Challenges in Church, age 5
“When church starts you need to turn around, sit down and be quiet.”
“When God comes in, I will.”
Lessons Learned
Kids are like a sponge. They soak it all in. Everything you say and do. Obviously, there’s no one size fits all approach to parenting. Each child responds differently to rules and regulations. Some rebel more than others. Parenting is one place where it’s hip to be square. We’ve been told by our children repeatedly that we are “the strictest parents on the block.” I doubt that’s true. If it is, I’m okay with that. We can be best friends later. Communication is key. Yelling is not effective. Sometimes parents need a time out too. Over the years, like most moms, I got creative with some code names for rules and random things to keep our household running smoothly. What worked for us might not work for you. But, you never know until you try.
Toy Jail
“If you can’t share a toy, then it doesn’t belong in our house.” That was our golden rule. If they broke the rule, the toy would go into “toy jail,” which was conveniently located well out of reach, on top of our refrigerator. It got pretty full from time to time. But it worked. I yelled less and the fighting stopped as soon as the prized possession was gone.
The Idea Jar
“The Idea Jar” kept us busy when the kids where young. Everyone got to write their ideas of fun things to do and we would take turns pulling out different ideas over the summer or school holidays. We took nature walks, trips to the beaches, parks, zoo, or did arts and crafts at home. Nothing fancy or expensive. Simple pleasures. When they were little and I asked them what their favorite summer memories were, they said, “Doing everything from the idea jar!”
Forced Family Fun
Our code name for saying “your presence is strongly encouraged for this family event.” This one came into play during the teenage years and was often reserved for our sacred Sundays. Or, anytime we had a family event we wanted them to attend. Why not make it fun?
Do-Over Days
Nobody’s perfect and sometimes tempers flare. Minivan rides to school weren’t always pleasant. When things got out of control, I would pull over, stop the car and take a deep breath. Then suggest we all start fresh with a “do-over day.” Because everyone deserves a second chance and a bright start to their day.
Enjoy every moment!
My three kids are grown up now and we are almost empty nesters. When people tell you to enjoy every moment, before it passes you by, believe them. Time really does fly and you can’t go back. Unless, you “Journal it!” I’m so glad I took the time to write down special memories, quotes from the kids and funny stories. It’s never too late to start. Or, to go back and fill in the blanks where you left off. I’m so grateful for the journey I’ve had as a mother over the past 25 years. Never a dull moment, always an adventure and worth every wrinkle and stretch mark. I miss the days when they called me Mommy, but I treasure the memories, and look forward to creating new ones together.
Happy Mother’s Day!
Hold on tight to your motherhood memories by jotting them down in your journal. Share your favorites in the comments.
-Janine 💐